[A reprint of a sermon preached at the 6pm Healing Service in St Andrew’s Cathedral, Sydney by Canon Jim Holbeck on Wednesday 27th Feb 2002]
In this passage Jesus spoke about attitudes to be adopted by the people of God that would enable them to keep in good spiritual (and thus good physical and emotional) health. These attitudes would prevent unnecessary stress and provide guidance for the healing of relationships. They provide good “Preventative and Curative ‘Medicine.”
Tonight we’re going to look at what we might need to do if we have acted wrongly (adopted wrong attitudes) to other people. We may be living with guilt because of our unwise words or actions towards particular people. They may be living with deep hurt needing us to express our apologies to them for causing the hurt we caused. Jesus gave us some guidelines for how they and we can know more healing.
- GOD WANTS HIS PEOPLE TO BE ONE IN LOVE.
Paul wrote in Eph 4:3. “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” The unity between Christians exists and is to be maintained not created. He told us what our Christian speech is meant to be like later in the chapter, (Eph 4:29) “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. (30) And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption. (31) Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, (32) and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”
God wants His people to be one. He abhors anything that would be a danger to that unity. Jesus went on to speak about one of those dangers in the body of believers. It was in the context of what to do if one of the members of the body of Christ had sinned in a way that affected other people.
2. THE DANGER OF DISUNITY. How to (correctly) correct an erring brother or sister. Mat 18:15-20. Jesus here in Mat 18:15ff showed us 3 things about relationships in the body of Christ.
i….Love demands that we don’t ignore the sin we think we see in another person. Sin destroys people, and we need to address it in love. But we are to speak to them first about the fault we think we see. Let’s say the sinning brother is Tom. As I talk over the problem with Tom he may admit his error and repent of it. Or I might find that I had prematurely judged Tom as guilty and talking with him showed that I was wrong. I might need to apologise to him for thinking evil of him. Healing has taken place and no one else has become involved. The over-riding principle is that we should speak to Tom about the sin I think I see in him before I speak to anyone else about Tom’s sin.
This is one of the commandments from the lips of Jesus that is broken every day by thousands of Christians throughout the world and they have little idea how serious it is. We may never have realised the difficulties we caused in the lives of other people or the damage we did to them or to their families by speaking about them rather than to them first.
God wants us to get it right so that we don’t hurt people and so that healing can come to people who are already hurting because of things we said about them to others.
In seminars in the last couple of weeks I mentioned the story I once read of an older minister who had been criticised behind his back by a young Christian. He had distorted the truth about the older man and had influenced people’s attitude towards him. The young man eventually saw the sinfulness of what he had done and came and asked the older man to forgive him of talking about him behind his back.
The minister assured him that he forgave him but he asked the young man to accompany him up to the top of the belltower. He had taken up with him a pillow containing hundreds of small feathers. As the young man watched he tore open the pillow and hoisted its contents into the strong wind. The feathers went in many directions in the swirling wind and many of them went on and on into the distance. He then asked the young man to take the pillow and to pick up all the feathers and place them back in the pillowcase.
The young man protested that it would be impossible to retrieve all the feathers. Then he realised that it was like an acted parable. The feathers were like the lies and untruths he had broadcast far and wide. Though he had repented of his sin and been assured of the minister’s forgiveness, he could not retrieve all the lies he had told.
That’s when he really repented as he saw the damage his words could have already caused in many people’s attitudes. He would not be able to go to every person he influenced by his criticism and take back the destructive words he had uttered. What we sow will be reaped by us or by other people.
Some months ago I was thinking about and praying through a number of situations. I was hanging clothes out on the line to dry at the time. Suddenly these words came into my mind. “Criticism is the Devil’s way of suggesting improvements.” I’d never read or heard those words before but I thought how deep they were. Criticism comes naturally to us but it does a lot of harm to those who criticise and to those who are criticised. What Jesus is saying here is the opposite of criticism. It means recognising sin or fault in Tom but speaking personally to Tom about his faults rather than to other people about them.
ii. If our personal individual approach in love and concern is rejected we need to ask another couple of people to be involved in the situation. It may be that we have overreacted and are out of line. If so, the other couple can help the truth about the situation be clarified. If Tom is at fault, then there are now three people expressing their concern to him about aspects of his life to encourage him to get right with God. If he rejects the combined approach in love of the 3 people then they take it to the whole group of disciples.
iii. If Tom is not willing to listen to the whole group of believers then it means that I personally might have to withdraw fellowship from him as a means of waking him up to the danger of his sin. The “you” of verse 18 is singular. If you (thou) the individual find that your erring brother will not accept your rebuke then treat him as a gentile and as a tax collector. No longer treat him as a loyal beloved brother in Christ but treat him as someone who is outside the Christian family and needs to be brought into fellowship once again when he heeds the correction. This is what you (thou) do, not what every member of the church decides to do. You have in love taken your personal stand against Tom’s evil as a means of bringing about Tom’s restoration. What the other members of the Christian group decide to do is up to them.
It is in this context that the following words are spoke by Jesus, “Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.“ Mt 18:18. There are a number of interpretations but the simplest one in this context is that Peter (to whom similar words were previously addressed by Jesus) and the whole body of believers have the task of pointing out what God in heaven has forbidden (bound) and what He permits (looses) on earth. The church has the authority to declare some things to be right and other things to be wrong according to God’s revelation of Himself in His word. Peter and the whole church can only declare what God says in His word about any word, or action.
(Some people go further and see this as referring to binding the powers of darkness and loosing people from their power. That’s not the main meaning in this passage, but it’s true in the sense that Christ overcame the powers of darkness on the cross, and people can be set free from their power through His victory in the heavenlies.)
3. OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS “A SINNER”?
Did I follow the guidelines Jesus taught? Did I talk with Tom about the problem I thought I saw in him before I talked to other people about his problem. If I did talk to other people then I sinned against Tom and need to repent of it and may need to ask his forgiveness.
I also need to ask forgiveness of those to whom I spoke about Tom when I was out of the will of God. I involved them in my sin. See the principle in Leviticus 24 where a man was going around blaspheming God. God tells the people who heard him speak, Lev 24:14 “Take the blasphemer outside the camp; and let all who were within hearing lay their hands on his head, and let the whole congregation stone him.” Those who might have been contaminated by what the man said were to show their allegiance to God by identifying with God in laying their hands on the blasphemer. This would show that they were transferring back the words the blasphemer had said and no longer accepting them. In this way they were showing that they wanted no part of this man’s sin and guilt.
Does it really matter? Isn’t it all water under the bridge anyway? Isn’t it too late to do anything about it? Not if we see the meaning of Jesus’ words. There are people out there who may be still hurting because we broke Jesus’ commandment and caused them damage by the things we said about them. Either we say it doesn’t matter or else we do something about it.
I’m not trying to send anyone on a guilt trip. I just know how broken many people are through being betrayed by friends and other Christians. There’s a lot of healing to take place in lots of Christian relationships.
Let me give some suggestions for you to pray about.
1. Don’t dig around in your past but pray the words of Psalm139:23-24 in all sincerity. It’s an invitation to God to let Him show you if you have been guilty of any offensive behaviour in His sight. Eg., saying things about other people that has damaged them (and you as well). (Psalm 139:23-24) “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked (offensive) way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
- When you recognise times you may have broken Jesus’ commandment in Mat 18:15, ask Him for His forgiveness for those times. Then thank Him that you have His forgiveness in Christ.
- Pray that the power of your words is broken in the minds of those other people to whom you spoke.
- Pray for those whom you criticised behind their backs that any damage you caused them is healed. Only God knows the extent of that damage and He knows what healing to bring.
- Let God show you what you might need to do about that person if God wants you to be part of the healing process. (It may involve asking their forgiveness.) But God will help you to do what He sees as the loving and necessary things for you to do.
- Ask God to help you speak Christianly in the future, as in Eph 4:29-32 in words that will build people up, be appropriate and “give grace to those who hear.”
Blog No.495 posted on Tuesday 22 August 2023
holbeck 
495. Sermon on Matthew 18:15-20. “How to prevent hurt and how to heal hurting people.” Gospel reading for Sunday 10 September 2023
[A reprint of a sermon preached at the 6pm Healing Service in St Andrew’s Cathedral, Sydney by Canon Jim Holbeck on Wednesday 27th Feb 2002]
In this passage Jesus spoke about attitudes to be adopted by the people of God that would enable them to keep in good spiritual (and thus good physical and emotional) health. These attitudes would prevent unnecessary stress and provide guidance for the healing of relationships. They provide good “Preventative and Curative ‘Medicine.”
Tonight we’re going to look at what we might need to do if we have acted wrongly (adopted wrong attitudes) to other people. We may be living with guilt because of our unwise words or actions towards particular people. They may be living with deep hurt needing us to express our apologies to them for causing the hurt we caused. Jesus gave us some guidelines for how they and we can know more healing.
Paul wrote in Eph 4:3. “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” The unity between Christians exists and is to be maintained not created. He told us what our Christian speech is meant to be like later in the chapter, (Eph 4:29) “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. (30) And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption. (31) Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, (32) and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”
God wants His people to be one. He abhors anything that would be a danger to that unity. Jesus went on to speak about one of those dangers in the body of believers. It was in the context of what to do if one of the members of the body of Christ had sinned in a way that affected other people.
2. THE DANGER OF DISUNITY. How to (correctly) correct an erring brother or sister. Mat 18:15-20. Jesus here in Mat 18:15ff showed us 3 things about relationships in the body of Christ.
i….Love demands that we don’t ignore the sin we think we see in another person. Sin destroys people, and we need to address it in love. But we are to speak to them first about the fault we think we see. Let’s say the sinning brother is Tom. As I talk over the problem with Tom he may admit his error and repent of it. Or I might find that I had prematurely judged Tom as guilty and talking with him showed that I was wrong. I might need to apologise to him for thinking evil of him. Healing has taken place and no one else has become involved. The over-riding principle is that we should speak to Tom about the sin I think I see in him before I speak to anyone else about Tom’s sin.
This is one of the commandments from the lips of Jesus that is broken every day by thousands of Christians throughout the world and they have little idea how serious it is. We may never have realised the difficulties we caused in the lives of other people or the damage we did to them or to their families by speaking about them rather than to them first.
God wants us to get it right so that we don’t hurt people and so that healing can come to people who are already hurting because of things we said about them to others.
In seminars in the last couple of weeks I mentioned the story I once read of an older minister who had been criticised behind his back by a young Christian. He had distorted the truth about the older man and had influenced people’s attitude towards him. The young man eventually saw the sinfulness of what he had done and came and asked the older man to forgive him of talking about him behind his back.
The minister assured him that he forgave him but he asked the young man to accompany him up to the top of the belltower. He had taken up with him a pillow containing hundreds of small feathers. As the young man watched he tore open the pillow and hoisted its contents into the strong wind. The feathers went in many directions in the swirling wind and many of them went on and on into the distance. He then asked the young man to take the pillow and to pick up all the feathers and place them back in the pillowcase.
The young man protested that it would be impossible to retrieve all the feathers. Then he realised that it was like an acted parable. The feathers were like the lies and untruths he had broadcast far and wide. Though he had repented of his sin and been assured of the minister’s forgiveness, he could not retrieve all the lies he had told.
That’s when he really repented as he saw the damage his words could have already caused in many people’s attitudes. He would not be able to go to every person he influenced by his criticism and take back the destructive words he had uttered. What we sow will be reaped by us or by other people.
Some months ago I was thinking about and praying through a number of situations. I was hanging clothes out on the line to dry at the time. Suddenly these words came into my mind. “Criticism is the Devil’s way of suggesting improvements.” I’d never read or heard those words before but I thought how deep they were. Criticism comes naturally to us but it does a lot of harm to those who criticise and to those who are criticised. What Jesus is saying here is the opposite of criticism. It means recognising sin or fault in Tom but speaking personally to Tom about his faults rather than to other people about them.
ii. If our personal individual approach in love and concern is rejected we need to ask another couple of people to be involved in the situation. It may be that we have overreacted and are out of line. If so, the other couple can help the truth about the situation be clarified. If Tom is at fault, then there are now three people expressing their concern to him about aspects of his life to encourage him to get right with God. If he rejects the combined approach in love of the 3 people then they take it to the whole group of disciples.
iii. If Tom is not willing to listen to the whole group of believers then it means that I personally might have to withdraw fellowship from him as a means of waking him up to the danger of his sin. The “you” of verse 18 is singular. If you (thou) the individual find that your erring brother will not accept your rebuke then treat him as a gentile and as a tax collector. No longer treat him as a loyal beloved brother in Christ but treat him as someone who is outside the Christian family and needs to be brought into fellowship once again when he heeds the correction. This is what you (thou) do, not what every member of the church decides to do. You have in love taken your personal stand against Tom’s evil as a means of bringing about Tom’s restoration. What the other members of the Christian group decide to do is up to them.
It is in this context that the following words are spoke by Jesus, “Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.“ Mt 18:18. There are a number of interpretations but the simplest one in this context is that Peter (to whom similar words were previously addressed by Jesus) and the whole body of believers have the task of pointing out what God in heaven has forbidden (bound) and what He permits (looses) on earth. The church has the authority to declare some things to be right and other things to be wrong according to God’s revelation of Himself in His word. Peter and the whole church can only declare what God says in His word about any word, or action.
(Some people go further and see this as referring to binding the powers of darkness and loosing people from their power. That’s not the main meaning in this passage, but it’s true in the sense that Christ overcame the powers of darkness on the cross, and people can be set free from their power through His victory in the heavenlies.)
3. OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS “A SINNER”?
Did I follow the guidelines Jesus taught? Did I talk with Tom about the problem I thought I saw in him before I talked to other people about his problem. If I did talk to other people then I sinned against Tom and need to repent of it and may need to ask his forgiveness.
I also need to ask forgiveness of those to whom I spoke about Tom when I was out of the will of God. I involved them in my sin. See the principle in Leviticus 24 where a man was going around blaspheming God. God tells the people who heard him speak, Lev 24:14 “Take the blasphemer outside the camp; and let all who were within hearing lay their hands on his head, and let the whole congregation stone him.” Those who might have been contaminated by what the man said were to show their allegiance to God by identifying with God in laying their hands on the blasphemer. This would show that they were transferring back the words the blasphemer had said and no longer accepting them. In this way they were showing that they wanted no part of this man’s sin and guilt.
Does it really matter? Isn’t it all water under the bridge anyway? Isn’t it too late to do anything about it? Not if we see the meaning of Jesus’ words. There are people out there who may be still hurting because we broke Jesus’ commandment and caused them damage by the things we said about them. Either we say it doesn’t matter or else we do something about it.
I’m not trying to send anyone on a guilt trip. I just know how broken many people are through being betrayed by friends and other Christians. There’s a lot of healing to take place in lots of Christian relationships.
Let me give some suggestions for you to pray about.
1. Don’t dig around in your past but pray the words of Psalm139:23-24 in all sincerity. It’s an invitation to God to let Him show you if you have been guilty of any offensive behaviour in His sight. Eg., saying things about other people that has damaged them (and you as well). (Psalm 139:23-24) “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked (offensive) way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Blog No.495 posted on Tuesday 22 August 2023
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About Jim Holbeck
Once an Industrial Chemist working for the Queensland Government but later an Anglican minister in Brisbane, Armidale and Sydney. Last position for eighteen years before retirement in 2006 was as the Leader of the Healing Ministry at St Andrew's Cathedral Sydney.